HOT UPDATES from the North Pole ….NORAD officials have received notification that Santa has selected 9 reindeer for his yuletide trek around the world on Christmas Eve! These special reindeer have been on a rigorous exercise program to make sure they are physically fit for the journey! NORAD has learned that one of the reindeer has a bright shiny nose, and responds to the name Rudolph. Mrs. Claus has informed NORAD that Santa’s “Naughty or Nice” list includes a record 1.9 billion children under the age of 15 this year. This list grows continually, as children are born at the rate of approximately 340,000 per day. Check the world’s current population at http://www.census.gov/ipc/www/popclockworld.html…
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Weather forecasters have predicted that the temperature at the North Pole on December 25 will be about -15 F (-26ºC). Brrrrrrr! Check current North Pole weather at http://www.weather.com/weather/local/99705?from=monthAvgGraph_topnav_undeclared
Using more than 1.6 billion cups of sugar, Santa’s elves have created 5 billion candy canes this year, to be hung on Christmas trees and slid into stockings. Mrs. Claus has informed us that Santa’s favorite candy-cane flavor is root beer (but he prefers peppermint with his hot cocoa).
Santa has reached his pre-Christmas target weight! After undertaking a regimen of restricting fat and exercising daily, Santa has trimmed down to a 210 pounds – substantially less than his landing weight of 1,260 lbs last year. Nevertheless, Mrs. Claus has assured us that Santa still has a belly that shakes like a bowlful of jelly when he laughs.
Santa’s Scene Designer, Knippert, has completed designs for 2,000 different Christmas ornaments. The elves are producing these decorations, which will be used on trees and in stockings, at a dizzying pace.
NORAD has learned that the closing ceremonies for the Reindeer Games have taken place at the North Pole. More than 48 reindeer participated this year. Challenges included take-off speed, freestyle sky-dancing, synchronized touch-and-go, and hoof patty-cake for the fawns.
Santa’s elves have finished installing the lights around Santa’s Workshop. As with the Jewish Festival of Light on Hanukkah, Christmas is a time to bring warmth and brightness into the world. Candles and lights are symbols of that spirit.
Santa’s Chief Elf, Kerstmis Fatato, has informed NORAD that Santa’s Workshop will use 1,123,595 ½ miles of ribbon to wrap gifts this year. Kerstmis encourages all children (grownups too) to reuse their ribbons on gifts throughout the year.
NORAD officials have verified that production of electronic toys has sped up significantly due to the overwhelming number of requests from children around the world. Not surprisingly, the Wii was at the top of the list. Elf production is reported to be at full speed!
Faast Taukker, Santa’s Elf in press relations manager, has verified that Rudolph’s bright red nose is indeed very hot again this year – so bright in fact, that, in pre-flight tests, it registered 36,000 lumens! This is good news as it ensures NORAD officials that they once again will be able to detect Rudolph on Christmas Eve.
Santa’s Chief Elf, Ingner Torkut, has informed NORAD that the elves are working hard to create 20 million dolls of many varieties, and 30 million different kinds of building and construction blocks. More than ten metric tons of wax have been turned into crayons in every color of the rainbow.
NORAD has learned that Vixen, one of the nine reindeer selected to be part of Santa’s Christmas Eve crew, has suffered a take-off injury to her magical levitation system during training. The good news is that, according to Dr. Fixeerstof van Elf, the chief veterinary elf at the North Pole, Vixen is expected to recuperate fully–and in plenty of time for her gift-delivery duties.
Santa’s Chief Elf, Kerstmis Fatato, has confirmed that Vixen, the reindeer who had suffered a take-off injury to her magical levitation system during training, has made a complete recovery. Kerstmis reported that Vixen is delighted that she will be able to help deliver toys to millions of children all around the globe.
NORAD officials have received notification that Santa is modifying his flight plan from last year! No explanation was given, however, it was confirmed that Santa still plans to visit everyone on his Nice List!
Mrs. Claus has informed NORAD that Santa took a short break from toy-making management duties to dance with Mrs. Claus in the kitchen. Apparently, the smell of warm gingerbread and the twinkling of Christmas lights swelled Santa’s heart with the joy of the season. Mrs. Claus and the kitchen elves joined in the fun.
Santa’s Scene Designer, Knippert Feldspay has calculated that some 30 million Christmas trees are in homes all over the world. Knippert pointed out that families can decorate their homes as they wish; a Christmas tree is not required for Santa to visit a home. (A fireplace is also not required; Santa always finds a way to leave his gifts, no matter what.)
Santa’s Chief Elf, Kerstmis Fatato, has informed NORAD that 99.23% of toy production has been completed. In the next 24 hours, all toys will be finished, wrapped, sorted, and loaded into Santa’s sleight for distribution on Christmas Eve. To accommodate last-minute requests, elves will continue to work right up until the reindeer lift Santa and his sleigh into the night sky.
Santa Claus himself called NORAD today! He wanted to let us know that he is as excited to embark on this year’s mission of generosity as he was more than 1,600 years ago when he started leaving gifts for children on Christmas Eve.
NORAD has received confirmation that the special navigation panel aboard Santa’s sleigh is functioning as planned. The elf staff provided no further comment or details.
North Pole officials confirmed that the Santa Cams NORAD uses on Christmas Eve are in fact able to detect and photograph objects as large as 100 lollipops long and 55 lollipops wide.
Elf Soen Firr, chief Santa suit engineer, confirmed that Santa’s red suit has been weatherproofed and tested to ensure Santa will stay warm and dry in any type of weather. No further details of the suit’s material or capabilities were released.
Today, NORTH Pole staff have advised NORAD that it is the final day to send Santa an email because Santa and the elves will begin loading the sleigh later today. This is such a huge task that they will not have time to check emails!
NORAD has confirmed that Santa and his fully-loaded, reindeer-powered sleigh took off from the North Pole and soared into the arctic sky at 6:00 a.m. EST (5:00 a.m. CST, 4:00 a.m. MST, 3:00 a.m. PST). NORAD radar is tracking Rudolph’s bright red nose, and satellite imagery is providing minute-by-minute coverage of Santa’s location.